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Rain pours outside and its too dark and gloomy as I adjust myself on the diwan while reading the newspaper. Yesterday's blast are all over the newspaper. Eleven people died. Its useless even debating on these topics because things like these may never end. These kinds of incidents shock me everytime and make me realize that even on being the same species different people around the world think so differently. The guys from whatever terrorist group who must have planted the explosives were just our kind, humans, alive and breathing. I think how could they have such a drive to do a horrendous thing like this. It must have taken alot of preparation be it mentally or physically. Imagine this much amount of drive if used for some constructive work could have brought wonderful results. Sad, how people are wasting themselves into nonthingness and being destructive for themselves and for others.
In the few recent years I have gone through a lot of changes and ebery year in september I get sad because every september I feel like i am ageing. september 23rd is my birth date and I can't describe the amount of hatred I have for this day. Every year I have a heap of good and bad things to lool back to and a new somebody to love but this year I am a pretty broken down out of the teenhood adult desperately trying through his facebook photos to appear young. Hah! people tell me I am still young but I don't seem to feel it. My recent years have left marks in my inner self and changes to my outer self that are pretty visible. I am not the same person every year. I would be 19 this year but I don't really want to get older. I feel empty like I haven't enjoyed myself much and I need to before I grow up. The sweet silly things have vanished from my life. Feeling I was born this way, I think of myself as an old man who can't get enough of complaining about everything.